If you share your life with a cat or dog, you already know the rule: your personal space isn’t yours anymore.
Laps? Taken. Shoulders? Occupied. Your head pillow at 2 a.m.? Prime real estate.
And in my house, mornings don’t begin with an alarm clock - they begin with the plan. Kona, Nessie, and CJ have perfected their morning strategy to ensure I’m up exactly when they want: feeding time.
Kona starts the operation by settling next to my head, purring like a tiny motor until I pet her. Nessie goes covert - scaling furniture, prying open drawers, or finding something that makes that infuriating-yet-effective crackle noise that guarantees my eyes pop open. CJ? He’s the muscle of the team. With the precision of a furry missile, he launches onto the bed and lands squarely on my legs, jolting me into consciousness. It’s coordinated. It’s relentless. And it works. Every. Single. Time.
CJ, Kona, and Nessie have turned me into their full-service luxury mattress - complete with warmth, heartbeat, and occasional snack service. Whether I’m working at my desk, binge-watching TV, or just sitting there minding my own business, my body is apparently the place to be.
But here’s the thing - this clinginess is more than just an adorable quirk. Pets want to be close to us because we’re their safe place. Our scent, our warmth, our heartbeat - it all says, “You belong here. You’re loved. You’re home.”
Sure, sometimes I lose feeling in my legs or have to perform Olympic-level stretches to grab my coffee without disturbing a single whisker. But honestly? I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Because when they choose me as their spot, they’re not just looking for comfort - they’re telling me that in their world, I’m home.
Pet Logic 101: The Official Rules of Human Ownership
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If I fits, I sits. This includes laps, shoulders, laptops, and anything you thought was yours.
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You’re warm, so you’re mine. Especially if you looked comfortable without me.
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Bathroom time = group activity. Oh, you thought you’d go alone? Adorable.